Tuesday, October 21, 2014

There Is A Part Of Us...

"There is a part of us we share with no one, and it is to this part of us that the marriage vows are addressed."

Wisdom: n, the state of knowing many things, none of them for sure.

Man: n, a creature exhibiting both the good and bad in human nature.
Dog: n, a creature exhibiting only the good in human nature.

There are people who say, "If I had it to do over, I wouldn't do a single thing differently," and they are the only people who get to do it over.

"Though attracted by the ribbons and the wrapping, one marries the whole package, which is still better than the other way around."

"Experience is not only the best teacher, it makes a very good vice-principal."

"I think a successful life is like a successful stage play -- it needs a script to tear up."

"The measure of a happy life is the number of things you get a high from that don't have any street value."

... and a thousand more in my book, Round Up The Usual Subjects, about which a reader said, "I'm absolutely sure that Mark Twain could have written a better book of aphorisms, but I'm absolutely sure he never did."

~~ Robert Brault

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Notes From Our Resident Curmudgeon

A consideration before choosing a life's partner:   "You only have to forgive a flaw once, but you have to admire a perfection every day."

"It's not gossip if there is absolutely no other way to address the subject."

"One of the great logical puzzles is how a woman is always like her mother but never like her sister."

"You know that time is traveling backwards when something that's annoying becomes cute."

"Every family has arguments that scare the dog.  The concern is when they alarm the cat."

Never say, "All other things being equal...," because whatever you say next ain't gonna happen.

"The most common cause of breaking up is having an alternative."

"Another thing that most of us die having failed at is becoming completely unmourned."

... and a thousand more in my book, Round Up The Usual Subjects.

~~ Robert Brault

Thursday, October 16, 2014

The Halloween Collection

Some original quotes with a Halloween theme  --  a few new but most from my book, Round Up The Usual Subjects. 

"There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater, looking for a brightly-lit front porch."

"I don't know if there are real ghosts and goblins, but I know that there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids."

"Nothing dispels the rattling of ghosts in the attic like the twittering of goblins on the front porch."

"I hear there's been a ghost sighting in my old hometown..  Funny, I was just back there the other day."

"I remember a little child in a ghost costume, though he seems more to me now like a little ghost in a child costume."

"I don't know that there are haunted houses.  I know that there are dark staircases and haunted people."

"For every bodiless spirit you encounter, there's a spiritless body you really don't want to run across."

"There are moonlit nights when the dead send their ghosts to haunt us -- and dark, misty nights when they come themselves."

"I just went to a seance where everyone sat around resurrecting ghosts from the past.  Wait, that was my class reunion."

"Every party is a masquerade party.  Even an invitation to come as you are is an invitation to come in your usual disguise."

~~ Robert Brault

Sunday, October 12, 2014

It Is Lonely At The Top...

"It is lonely at the top, and most of us decide, long before we get there, that we're lonely enough already."

"You can be happy with someone who likes you despite your faults -- until you meet someone who likes your faults."

"I've never understood how you can owe loyalty to someone when you can't think of a single other thing you owe them."

"Material success is always tempered by the recollection that there was some kind of happiness that was supposed to come with it."

"No matter what it is, if you aren't happy striving for it, you won't be happy achieving it."

"If you want to keep your friends, never achieve anything they think you're incapable of."

"I have no idea what heaven is like, but I know people who will enjoy it, and I know people who won't."

... and a thousand more in my book, Round Up The Usual Subjects.

~~ Robert Brault

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Sometimes, Love Needs A Rest...

"Sometimes love needs a rest from caring, and so endures for an intolerable few hours the guilt of not caring."

"The first thing you discover about ignorance is that it doesn't like to be contradicted."

"Beware of things that stand to reason.  For example, it stands to reason that the more you pay a financial advisor, the better advice you get."

"I am superstitious to this extent -- I believe that giving up before you begin is bad luck."

"It doesn't matter what you pretend to be, provided you stick to the pretense when others are counting on it."

"What I've discovered about people who regularly talk to God is that God rarely changes their mind."

"The great enemy of excellence is so-so acceptance."

... and a thousand more in my book Round Up The Usual Subjects, now available for the price of a movie ticket.

~~ Robert Brault

Monday, September 29, 2014

I Often Wonder...

"I often wonder what I would have done if at any point in my life I had known what was going on."

"Nothing in life is so little appreciated as the moral character it takes to be a normal, everyday person."

"We find in ourselves the strength to overcome every obstacle, which is a good thing, because we also find in ourselves every obstacle."

An autobiography:  "I was born.  My whole life flashed before my eyes.  I died."

"It is a shame to conform your life to what you imagine the world would want you to be if the world ever gave you a thought."

"People sometimes let you down, but it is a risky plan that assumes that they will."

... and a thousand more in my book Round Up The Usual Subjects, now available for less than the price of a movie ticket.

~~ Robert Brault

Thursday, September 25, 2014


"Sometimes it pays to be calm, though raging underneath, and sometimes it pays to rage, though calm underneath."

Occasionally ask yourself, "What would I do today if I were a much more organized person?"

Jeopardy Answer:  "Room for improvement."  Jeopardy Question:  "What can she possibly see in him?"

"Ever wonder why people think you should know better when you've never given them any reason to think so?"

It is possible to love a liar -- and just kinda hope you never hear the words, "I love you."

"I guess the reason I have never sought fame is the feedback from people who have already heard of me."

... and many more just like this in the "Leftovers" section of my book, Round Up The Usual Subjects.

~~ Robert Brault