From Our Resident Curmudgeon

 "Man is the only animal who lives in a zoo of his own construction."

"No one ever took free advice who had a chance to pay for it."

"The requirements of living conspire every day to overwhelm the purpose of life."

"There are people who are like a vehicle whose turn signal didn't flip off, and they go through life forever signaling a turn they don't make."

"As a rule of thumb, figure that the words you say will be misinterpreted in as many ways as they can be rearranged."