Ten More

 I wish that politicians who can't add 2 + 2 would stop saying, "By my calculus... ."

We all have a life story, and the clue to the ending is not necessarily in a chapter already written.

It's curious how so many people who are old and cynical believe exactly what they were taught when they were young and gullible.

There is this sense you get in old age of having outlived your completed memoirs.

One of the easier questions to answer in life is why you have so little when you ask so little.

The strongest person is vulnerable in some way, and the weakest person strong in some way. In exactly what way neither knows until they are tested, and in fact, until they are tested, neither knows which person they are.

Maybe the world is made such a perilous place so that no one would ever think they were meant to face such peril alone.

You get to an age when fewer things pique your curiosity than pique your don't-give-a-damn.

In explaining one's self to others, one should make especially clear the part where the explanation is over.

 

After a lifetime of receiving consolation prizes, I finally finished first, and know what -- it's actually more consoling.

Happy Michaelmas!

September 29, Michaelmas Day, is almost upon us. There's still time, however to send a greeting to a friend or relative.  Why would you?  Well, here are a few reasons you might.

To a Friend:

Here's wishing you a Michaelmas
That's cheerful, warm and homy
And filled, dear pal, with mem'ries of
The fifty bucks you owe me.


To a Neighbor:

Dear neighbor, just a word to say,
Wish you well this Michael's Day,
Wish you joy in everything,
Wish return of following:

-- one lawn rake

-- one weed trimmer
-- one pair garden shears
....


To a Sister:

A cheery card to darling Sis
To wish you Happy Michaelmas,
And just to mention, by the way --
I've had Mom since Labor Day!

Just Sayin'

I've just been to a seance.  Everyone sat around trying to conjure up ghosts from the past.  No, wait, that was my class reunion.

The devil on God:  "If you ask me, He does have a tendency to demonize His opponents."

I am not your dog, but if every time you saw me, you gave me a backrub, I would run to greet you, too.

How to decline an invitation:  "I'd love to come.  Sounds great.  I'll really look forward to it.  Wait, Friday?"

Don't know about you, but I have never seen a high school diploma on a doctor's wall.  I mean, if you had a high school diploma, would you hide it? 

Maunderings, Old and New

 Test your self-esteem:  "If you were the last person on earth, would you be ugly, beautiful or of average good looks?"

Two things I don't have to worry about -- being liked just for my money and being liked just for my likability.

You wonder if there are people comfortable in their own skin who would still like to be somebody else, only keeping their own skin. 

If you had drop-dead good looks, and everyone you met actually dropped dead, would you ever get tired of it?

Do you suppose there are people in the world actually starving to death because they don't know how to work self check-out?

There are couples who will always be first to arrive at a party no matter how many times they drive around the block.

I'm not saying that history is not interesting, although I don't understand this obsession with its chronological order.

Thoughts From Our Resident Cynic

 There is no more fruitless exercise than trying to impress your relatives.  The only thing that impresses your relatives is your ability to fool other people.

I have never heard the words, "It's all part of God's larger plan" without wishing God had a smaller plan.

It is hard to respond to ignorance, since it rarely has any questions.

Nobody ever said, "That's a very good question" and answered it.

In Genesis, we have the story of Adam and Eve, a then-average couple living in Paradise, a then-average neighborhood.  It is the story of the insatiable human desire to rise above the average.

Thoughts for the Thoughtful

An Elderly Skeptic Looks Back

Often in thought did I question and doubt,

    But always, when stricken by grief,  

Did I find on my tongue a questing prayer

    To the God of my disbelief.

***

We all have conversations with God, the churchgoer weekly and in public, the skeptic daily and in private.

Life is an ongoing battle, the ultimate triumph finding someone to surrender to.

"You can accept a falling out that changes your plans, but it's hard to accept a betrayal that changes your memories."

As much a part of friendship as offering help when needed is accepting help when offered.

A Lone Wolf Laments

Those times I pridefully said, "No, thanks." 

Oh, how I've come to regret them.

Oh, why, when people offered to help

Did I not just smile and let them.

Speaking For Myself

All I have ever asked of a teacher is this:  "Teach me not what you have been taught but what you have learned."

What makes evil so hard to uproot is that it can usually cite tradition.

If everyone would know their own best interest, and act upon it, the world would have no need for altruism.

The difference between instruction and education?  Parents instruct their children; children educate their parents.

It varies from person to person,

One multiple doesn't suffice --

The number of times you must do it

To learn not to do it twice.