It's A Good Day...

"It's a good day when, having nothing to say, you kept it short."

"It's a good day when no one you encountered had to waste a single moment trying to appease you."

"It's a good day when you learned something from life rather than trying to teach it something."

"It's a good day when you didn't say something negative about yourself just to be the one to say it first." 

Humble Pie

 "I guess the reason I have never sought fame is the feedback I get from people who have already heard of me."

"Based on my proven ability to do several fool things at once, I consider it progress to do one fool thing after another."

"As part of my diet regimen, I have given up banquets in my honor, which, so far, I'm sticking to pretty well."

"I have been humbled by praise, and I have been humbled by whiffing on the first tee, and, I dunno, they're different somehow."

How To Ace Your Judgment Day Interview

 1. Be on time.

2. Tell the Lord you've heard a lot about heaven and like what He's doing with it.

3. Be neat, alert, make direct eye contact.

4. Dress as you would for a special occasion.

5. When the Lord speaks, lean forward, act interested.

6. Be familiar with the Lord's work. ("Your Ten Commandments are so cool.")

7. Be clear on where you want to be in five years.

8. Be honest about personal flaws. ("I tend to be too forgiving.")

9. Do not hesitate to underscore qualifications. ("I go to church every Easter.")

10. Make it clear that you'll accept the standard benefits package.

Myrtle Beach On A Summer Night

  The night wind boils off the ocean, bending the landscaped palmettos sideways along the hotel line.  A hundred yards in, along Ocean Boulevard, a breeze stirs.  A quarter mile further inland, on the King's Highway, a woman fans her brow and complains of the stillness of the air.

   Myrtle Beach on a summer night.  Go get a Kirk's Ice Cream. 

Making One Life Matter

We ask, "What does one small life matter in the grand scheme of things?", as if there could be a scheme of things grander than making one small life matter. 

The Unconsulted

"We do not ask to be born, but neither do we ask to be the middle-aged result of some thoughless youth's indiscretion or the elderly remains of some middle-ager's mid-life crisis.  We are born someone else's creation, and at each stage of life we are the spawn of someone we once briefly were, and in neither case are we consulted in the matter."

Worth Repeating

"My advice, if you don't believe in miracles, is to marry someone who does."

"One thing that has always put me off about atheism is that atheists don't seem to struggle with it enough."

"It is only reality until some innovative individual decides they've put up with it long enough."

"It strikes me that if Mother Nature wanted us to know everything, she would not, at the very peak of our intellectual curiosity, distract us with puberty."

 

"I pray to God that He never makes me choose between a semi-private heaven and a private hell."

"It is said that travel is broadening, and so I have found it -- never failing to broaden my appreciation of home."

"What is a scientific fact but that tiny part of human perception that defies illogical explanation."

"When you speak, always tell the truth.  But don't always speak."

"It is a perversity of human nature to think that in order to find happiness we must abandon those who most wish it for us."