Hint for Job Seekers

We learn from our mistakes, so be sure to include "Mistakes I Have Learned From" on your job resume.  Best case, you'll get the job.  Worst case, you'll learn from another mistake.

Four Thoughts

 "Winning is everything."  -- a phrase used to describe an activity, such as a football game, which has no other discernible purpose.

"You cannot humiliate a humble person. any more than you can make a boastful person proud."

  "If some remedy doesn't work, try less of it before you try more of it." 

"If drug research holds true to form, there will some day be a completely ineffective weight loss drug that, as a side effect, cures cancer."

A Friend In Need

"It is important to be your own friend, especially on days when you wouldn't care to make your own acquaintance."

Just A Thought

"It is easier to ask forgiveness of God than of the person one offends, so it is quite possible that the apology you never got was directed to God and has not yet been forwarded."

It's A Good Day...

"It's a good day when, having nothing to say, you kept it short."

"It's a good day when no one you encountered had to waste a single moment trying to appease you."

"It's a good day when you learned something from life rather than tried to teach it something."

"It's a good day when you didn't say something negative about yourself just to be the one to say it first." 

Humble Pie

 "I guess the reason I have never sought fame is the feedback I get from people who have already heard of me."

"Based on my proven ability to do several fool things at once, I consider it progress to do one fool thing after another."

"As part of my diet regimen, I have given up banquets in my honor, which, so far, I'm sticking to pretty well."

"I have been humbled by praise, and I have been humbled by whiffing on the first tee, and, I dunno, they're different somehow."

How To Ace Your Judgment Day Interview

 1. Be on time.

2. Tell the Lord you've heard a lot about heaven and like what He's doing with it.

3. Be neat, alert, make direct eye contact.

4. Dress as you would for a special occasion.

5. When the Lord speaks, lean forward, act interested.

6. Be familiar with the Lord's work. ("Your Ten Commandments are so cool.")

7. Be clear on where you want to be in five years.

8. Be honest about personal flaws. ("I tend to be too forgiving.")

9. Do not hesitate to underscore qualifications. ("I go to church every Easter.")

10. Make it clear that you'll accept the standard benefits package.